Well, this is awkward

After, oh, 25 years spent not discussing my weight with anyone, I've suddenly discussed it in detailed terms with Professor Taco, the most perfect boyfriend ever - and now, with you, the World Wide Web. Go figure.

So what the hell happened? I don't know. It's not like I've never thought about it before. Of course I've thought about it. Like, every day. All day. I've thought things like, I'd like to be a size smaller by my birthday, or by that wedding, or by Christmas. And then...well, then I've done not a whole lot to make that happen. A bit of half-hearted exercise here and there. Yoga, aquafit, hip-hop dancing. But never enough to make a difference, and never for very long.

And so yesterday, when I woke up and Professor Taco was still snoozing, I laid in bed and thought: I have to do something about this. Now. And the first thing I have to do is talk to Taco about it.

And so, when he woke up, I did just that.

Why now? I don't know. Why not now? I mean, why not a frillion years ago, sure, but really, now's as good a time as any. But as to why I think I can now, why I've said it out loud for the first time...a lot of it has to do with my relationship with the Professor, I think. Knowing that he loves me no matter what has somehow made a little space for me to love myself a bit more. Enough to want to work out and feel better and be more fit.

This is a very, very simple answer. There's more to it, of course. But hey, it's not like this is going to be over soon. Plenty of time to examine my head. Won't that be fun?

Anyhow, here's the plan: I signed up for Weight Watchers today. Extremely out of character, but staying in character hasn't really helped my health, so might as well buck a trend. I'm all Core all the time now.

And tonight, I'll go to yoga at the Y. Normally, I'd go to my yoga studio. I'm a yoga snob. But I'm not getting around to finding out when the classes are these days, and I have to be out of town a bunch and so it's not worth buying an eight week pass or whatever...and the excuses mound up. So, snobbery aside, it's YMCA yoga for me tonight.

Tuesdays will be circuit training at the Y and deep water aquafit.

Wednesdays I will meet with my personal trainer. My personal trainer? Who the hell am I?

Thursdays will be Latin cardio and aquafit, at, of course, the Y. My new home away from home.

Fridays will be yoga, again at the Y.

And then of course, there's riding my bike to work. And later this fall, bellydancing classes.

My goal weight? To be determined. I have a vague idea how much I weigh right now. Will find out for sure at the Y Wednesday night, which will become my weekly weigh-in. I'm not so interested in pounds as I am in sizes and ability. I want to be able to comfortably climb into the backseat of a two-door car. Run with no knee pain. Buy a bra that doesn't come in a box. Never worry about fitting airplane seats. Lie comfortably on the couch with Taco. Buy tall boots. Learn to kayak. Shop wherever I want.

You know. The usual stuff.