Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Renovations in progress

I met up with M&C today in the Public Gardens to discuss my personal renovation project. We discussed my goals (the obvious ones, like lose fat and build muscle; the functional ones, like learn to run and feel comfortable in a kayak; and the vanity ones, like fit into high boots and be able to shop exclusively and easily in regular stores) and how best to meet them. The words “boot camp” “early mornings” and “your ass is mine” were bandied around with insouciance (on her part) and terror (on mine).

That said, oh my god I cannot wait to start. Her kickboxing class on Saturday was, as expected, brutal, but in the best, sweatiest, most satisfying way. She screamed at us, but it was, strangely, quite motivating and invigorating. I hit that punching bag, and believe you me, it stayed hit.

I am feeling, more each day, that making these changes permanent is within my grasp. Mostly, lately anyhow, I don’t crave junk, and that is a really good thing. I’ve started to see some reluctant movement on the scale, which is heartening (not the reluctance, of course. The movement), though still excruciatingly slow. I’ve made a few tinkering changes to the calories-in part of my equation. Using the criteria at WLR, I’ve been calling myself sedentary (since I sit at my desk for eight-ish hours a day), but every other source I’ve checked would peg me as lightly to moderately active. So I’ve decided to adjust my status to moderately active, and stop counting my walks to and from work (and other random non-planned-exercise walking I might do) as exercise. I’m thinking this will all even out. The thing is, most days, I don’t find it hard to stay under 1,590 calories, but I’m kind of thinking that perhaps the reason I haven’t been losing a pound a week (as the science equation says I should) is that my calories-in are actually a bit too low. So I’m telling the computer I’m moderately active, and I’m further telling it that I want to lose a pound and a half a week, rather than a pound a week. It ups my calories by a small amount only, but I’m going to check it out for a while, see if it makes a difference. By no means do I expect to lose that much a week. Hell, I’ve learned not to expect anything. That way, when I get something, it’s an awesome surprise. This is probably sad and sick and twisted in some way, but it’s working for me just at the moment.

I’m also flirting with the idea of a weekly free day. I don’t feel the need, at all, to binge or splurge or whatever. But I do recognise in myself a need, about once a week, to be liberated from counting. Usually because there’s a social event I’d like to attend that will include consumption of food I can’t account for. And right now, I find I get stressed out about not being able to tot it all up and plug it into WLR. Which is, frankly, stupid. I’m in a good rhythm of thinking before I eat, making good or excellent choices pretty much all the time, and getting a reasonable (though not fantastic) amount of exercise. I need this process to be as much like real life as possible, because, hello, it IS real life. It has to be, or I won’t be able to sustain it. I also find, that on the weeks that I do have an unofficial free day, the scale actually moves. I know I am, like, the frillionth weightloss blogger to have figured this out, but that’s me. Late bloomer.

I am delighted with all these renos. Now, if only I could make similar progress with my house renos…

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