Spin doctor

Ok. I don’t know how it happened, but I am embarking on a torrid love affair with spin.

I know!

It’s early days yet. I’ve done probably no more than 90 minutes of it, all together, over two Sundays. But I can say with certainty that I have, at least, a crush on spin. Which is good, because I’ve been looking for a shake-up to my exercise routine. I'm planning to add in at least one spin class a week. Shouldn't be hard...they teach it three times a day at my gym.

Oh, and before I forget, thanks for dropping by. I know I am a lazy blogger, but it warms my heart that you keep stopping round to see what I’m up to—and I always love to hear from you in the comments. I must say that every day I think of things to tell you, but see above re: lazy, and also, by the time I get home and get to the laptop, I’ve kind of forgotten my earlier insights, or am just too beat to type them out for you.

That said, here is a short list of things from the last few weeks (I’m stealing a few minutes at work…but I ate lunch at my desk, so it all evens out):

I went to an awesome boutique across the harbour on Saturday as part of my early shopping for a suitable party dress to wear to the wedding of the century. I was discussing my dream dress with the proprietor (green, halter neck, a-line, fancy but not too poofy) and she said, “hmmm, I just ordered something like that, but…” And I thought, yeah, but. Too small, probably. But! She said, “I don’t think the line would fit you…their sizes START at 14 and go up.” Can I tell you how lovely that felt? The truth is, the 14 would probably be fine for me, though hopefully would not be by October, when the big day dawns. But how lovely to stand in a regular, if not a little upscale dress shop, and be told by the woman whose job it is all day to dress women’s bodies, that I look like a 14 would be too big. Lovely. Lovely.

And it’s the kind of thing that ties right in to Taco’s observation that I am not fat. I still can’t quite get comfortable with that one. I am definitely overweight. Decidedly. Unquestionably. And I know, Taco has this whole thing about fat being a state of mind, which is a lovely philosophy, but a little ethereal when it comes right down to it. And there is still the evidence—the incontrovertible evidence—of my hips, butt, thighs, upper arms…you name it, it’s evident. Shopping for clothing (the yardstick I use most often, because it is the most tangible to me, and also the most fun) is still very hit and miss.

However! I am hitting fitness milestones all over the place. I can now do the full set of tricep dips the Asskicker demands in Body Bar class. This is a MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT. My arms, though meaty, are piteously weak. I no longer feel ab exercises in my groins and upper thighs…instead, I feel them in my abs, where I’m meant to. I prefer to walk pretty much everywhere. Walking used to seem like such a trial to me. Honestly. Walking half-an-hour to get somewhere just seemed like such a hardship. Now, I’ll happily walk for an hour or more, for any reason, or for no reason at all.

On Saturday, Taco and I bought matching bicycles. So cute!

And now, all I want to do is ride everywhere on it, all day long, oh my god it is so AWESOME. We rode to the mall yesterday, where I purchased four new bras (because I have gone from a 42 D to a 38 D and was falling out of my bras, always a great look) and a pile of new underwear (because baggy underwear…yeah, not so much), a swingy new spring skirt, a fitted jean jacket and a great shirt. None of my spring and summer clothes from last year fit this year. They are giant and have been given away. Which is great, yay me, but also frightening, sorry bank account!

The scale frustration continues, but I have decided, I think, to ignore it for now. I am working out almost every day, getting lots of incidental exercise as well, and exercise is now just part of my life, a part I love, love, love. Astonishing, but true. I am mostly keeping a grip on the eating. I am working on fueling my body properly before and after my workouts, and just relaxing a little about the rest, and seeing how that goes. I know I could go hardcore on the food and get down below 200 pounds and feel great, but so many other things (money, the house, the wedding, work, writing, the fitness routine, general health) require my rapt attention and need to be kept in check, that food…I just can’t, right now. I can be healthy. That much I know. And right now, that’s enough. I may end up being the world’s densest woman, size 10 and still 200 pounds.

It doesn’t matter. It’s all numbers. And I will admit to being more than a little obsessed with numbers, but it doesn’t get to me…I comment daily on the ridiculous ping-ponging of the scale: “Taco! I lost four pounds while we slept! Which is hilarious, because two days ago, I gained five overnight!” but it doesn’t affect my day one way or the other. It, like a fat state of mind, is ethereal. What affects my day these days is the quality of my workout, the lengthening hours of daylight and ever-warmer temperatures, and the opportunities to ride the hell out of my Schwinn. Everything else, scale included, can go pound sand.

Except, of course, you, dear reader.