How it went

Well, I didn’t eat the chips. At the grocery store, after work, I found some pistachios and put them in my basket, because mmmmmmsalty. Then I wandered around in one of those fugue states that sometimes come upon me when I’m doing something routine like grocery shopping. I happened across some fat-reduced potato chips. They had only three ingredients: potatoes, canola oil and salt. Check, check and check. I put them in the basket and continued on my way, gathering healthy groceries unto my bosom.

I was about to check-out when I finally checked back in and discovered the chips in my basket. Wait, that’s not quite right. It’s more like I knew they were there all along, but was pretending they weren’t, and that if they were, it didn’t mean anything. Like that I would eat them or anything.

As if.

I gave myself a thunderous shake and returned them to their shelf. Checked out, went home, made kamut pasta with tomatoes, artichokes, celery, garlic, sugar snap peas and, for that salty fix, anchovies. Oh, anchovies, I forgot all about your fishy salty little selves. For good measure, I had a big green salad. Also yum. Felt totally satisfied. Chips, bah!

And then a few hours later, I smoked a joint with my hosts and wandered back to my bedroom to discover the chocolates they’d thoughtfully left on my pillow the first night, and which have stayed in my room without any bother since Sunday night. Unmolested.

Heh.

You can see where this is going.

That’s right, I molested the chocolates. Both of them. And they were goddamn good and je ne regrette rien.

This morning, after spending an inordinate amount of time feeling myself up, because I can really feel, with my hands, where I’ve lost weight, I applied the tape measure to my various parts. And they are smaller. And there was much rejoicing.

And just now, I had to take off my rings because they’re so loose they shimmy around on my fingers while I type and it’s totally annoying. For the obvious reason, but also because I love the rings and now they don’t fit.

Which is good, I know, and they can be made smaller.

Hee!

Tonight, I will go purchase new clothes. I need a dress for the wedding next weekend. And I may need some jeans from the Gap. Because I can. For the first time ever.

Go me!