You wouldn't happen to have any pie in your pocket, would you?

Because I could really, really go for a snack right now.

I mean a snack besides the plum I ate a while back.

And something other than the cottage cheese and fruit salad I had not ten minutes ago.

And not quite the ounce of almonds I just snacked on.

The world, please, with salt and vinegar. Or brown sugar and cinnamon. Warm, cold or indifferent, put it on a plate and I will eat it.

Or not. So far, I haven’t eaten the cookies that are ten feet away, as usual. I thought I’d get an oatcake from the canteen because first of all, oats, and second, hello, cake! But there were no oatcakes to be had. So I got five jellybeans from the little candy machine, which reminded me how much I dislike refined sugar. And while that may be true, and in fact IS true, apparently I don’t dislike it enough to stop wishing I had a snack made of it in my hand right now. A better snack than five jellybeans.

What to do? Continue to resist, I guess. I have many more calories coming to me today, because I’m hitting the gym at 5:15 for cardio strip, a 15-minute ab class that will no doubt leave me begging for my life, and then cardio kickbox at 6:15. And I’ve already logged a half-hour yoga session today. That, my dudes, is a pantload of exercise.

But even I can see that eating all the sugar I can get my grubby paws on will not be the way to make it through that much exercise. The cottage cheese and fruit was a good start. I’ll follow it up with some almond butter toast with fresh sliced strawberries on it and some soymilk when I get home.

Which should be in…what?…a hundred minutes? Surely I can tough it out for a measly hundred minutes.

Right?